Sorry I missed posting yesterday. It has been a bit on the busy side. I really have nothing for you today either, so I figure I will repost pictures of the Hypnotic Collection in between my post. In the meantime let me entertain you with a little story. I recently joined the gym, because I am to the point where my body is what is referred to as being skinny/fat. Have you ever heard that term before? What that means is that externally I look skinny. I used to be wicked skinny, now I see myself as more of a normal than a skinny, but many people still think I am skinny. I am 5'3" and weigh somewhere between 117 - 127 lbs on any given day. I don't weigh myself often, but when I do I am somewhere in that vacinity. As long as my close fits, that is all I care about. I have a lot of clothes and I don't want to have to buy all new clothes because it no longer fits. But I digress, back to being skinny/fat.
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In a Trance
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So externally I am skinny, but my muscles are gone. Well they are still there, but they have a lot of fat around them. They are just there doing nothing. I get winded going up the stairs. A gallon of milk is heavy. Hence the term skinny/fat. It has nothing to do with eternally looking a certain way, it has to do with the amount of fat in my skinny body. Make sense?
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Hypnotize Me over In a Trance |
As a result, I knew I had to start working out. I did good for a little while last year. I started doing yoga and walking. But as busy as I am with Cult Nails, there is always a reason not to get off my duff. I made them all to myself. "It was a long day at work", "I have to get a blog post written", "There's a ladies meetup", "I need to spend more time with the kids"....aaah the kids, my biggest excuse.I feel guilty for working all day, then I feel guilty for working on Cult Nails, so I feel the biggest guilt leaving them to go work out. I wish I could do Cult Nails full time and be home with my kids more. One day... Although they are growing fast and I worry it might be too late.
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Awakening |
Again, you can tell my mind is all over the place right now, can't you? Let's get to it then, shall we? Once upon a time I was extremely fit. I looked good. Damn good if I do say so myself, then we moved to a place I didn't like, and I got depressed, and working out just wasn't fun anymore. Then we moved again and everything fell into place. I love where I live, I love the people around me, I love my Cult Nails job, but my body? Not so much.
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Hypnotize Me over Awakening |
I live a half mile from the beach, everyone walks around in bikini's for crying out loud. Me? No thanks! Perhaps I could, but there are too many factors that don't allow it. If you must know I was a sad 94 lbs when I got pregnant the first time and ballooned to about 175 lbs by the end of that pregnancy! I almost doubled my weight!!! So as you can imagine, from my breasts, to my belly to my round behind and thighs, I am a road map! Stretch marks is nothing compared to what I have. Is that a little TMI? I share this, because I get a lot of emails from people who say my life seems perfect and I am beautiful and blah blah. Let me just tell you all, life is as perfect as you make it. If you saw me with out makeup or the perfect pose, or when I am cranky, I think you would have a whole other perspective. Just ask Juan, he has to live with me! We all have our faults and flaws and I have plenty. So if I make my life seem perfect on here, I apologize, things are about to get real!
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Enigmatic in the sun |
So there is no bikini in my future no matter how hard I work at it. To be honest, even a tummy tuck wouldn't help. Well it would help that flabby skin that won't tighten no matter what I do, but as far as stetchmarks go, probably not. But regardless of whether I can get in a bikini or not, I want my toned and muscled and strong body back! Why can't I get back to where I was? Why have I lost all my committment and energy to my health and body?
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Enigmatic in the shade |
I don't know why, but laying on the couch watching TV for an hour at night just seems so much more fun than moving my body! I had to take matters into my own hands. I joined a gym. I figure if I am paying for it then I will force myself to go, right? Well I joined on August 9th as a birthday gift to me. Since then I have been to the gym 5 times. 5 times in 16 days! I feel like I am throwing my money away!
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Hypnotize Me over Enigmatic |
I refuse to give up though. I am going to keep working at it, I am going to push myself. I am going to make this work! So last night my friend asked me to go to the AquaFit class with her. I thought, isn't that the water aerobics class full of old ladies? But I went. Can I just say O-M-G!!! That class was intense! I had no idea? How did water aerobics not catch on? We used the water as resistance and water weights for added resistance. The instructor led us on an intense aerobic excercise for 45 minutes! I was in the water sweating! Here's the thing, I realized you can take the easy way in the water and do the excerises half assed, or you can be serious and get a killer work out. I stayed pretty intense the whole time and when I walked out of that water, my entire body felt like jelly! After all that water resistance, it was weird getting out of the water for a few seconds.
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Hypnotize Me by itself - 3 coats |
But I loved it, so you will now see me doing AquaFit once a week with the "old ladies". I highly recommend it. Let's bring it back and make it as cool as Zumba! Actually they are having a Water Zumba class tomorrow, but unfortunately it's in the middle of my work day, so I can't go. Boo! But Let's see if this helps me get it together. I actually packed a bag to bring with me to work, so I can get a work out in during lunch since we have plans tonight. Could this be the change? I sure hope so! I will get my butt back in gear!